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I wish I wrote this

Writer's picture: John BrandtJohn Brandt

Yesterday I came across an ad which, had I just taken a sip of coffee, I would’ve spit it all over my laptop. 


The ad was for a bidet. 


And it has the wildest opening for an ad I can remember in recent history. It wasn’t a Harmon Brothers ad (Squatty Potty, Purple Mattresses) nor a seemingly multi-million dollar budget style ad like Billy Gene does. 


It was better. 


Here’s why:


The voiceover reading it was obviously AI, and that almost makes it better. 


Why?


Because here’s how this absurd ad opened:


“In 2024, I’ve decided I’m going to clean my butthoooole better.” 


There’s something about an AI voice reading that line that’s just chef’s kiss


The ad didn’t stop there, but was more than enough to hook me. 


It then went on to explain a bidet’s USP over toilet paper and gave each viewer the opportunity to think differently when it posed this question:


“Would you only wipe your arm if it got poop on it?” 


Damn, I felt attacked. 


It then went to give a few more reasons to switch to a bidet: 


It explained how easy it was to install, no plumber required. 


How much cleaner your butthole will be. 


And how much moolah you’ll save on toilet paper. 


Then, it flashed a screen of social proof for a second, mentioning that this bidet has over 16,000 five-star reviews. 


Point is, this ad was a masterpiece. 


Especially because of the AI voice. 


That’s how you properly use AI in your marketing. Not to spit out email copy for you… But to read a hilarious ad script that leverages the AI voice and uses it to stand out and demand attention. 


I wish I would’ve written it. 


And I bet it’s doing gangbusters in sales. 


Anywho:


Sometimes clients will forward me emails from their customers where they’re complimenting my email copy, kinda like I did here. 


If you wanna see your fans rant and rave over your email copy—while you laugh yourself to the bank—hit reply, and let’s book a quick call. 


John

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