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Chinese incel email marketing

Well, well, well… 


Sometimes the universe lines up exactly how it needs to for you. This is part of the reason I send a daily-ish email. And nothing encapsulates this quote like the following Robert Hunter-written Grateful Dead lyrics: 


“Once in a while you get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right”


So, what happened?


Well, y’see, I was planning to write today’s email about what the subject line suggests, communist Chinese incel email marketing based on a subject line I saw from Chinese powerhouse, Temu. 


Right on cue, I received a Slack notification from one of my clients that Temu wants to collaborate with our brand. No idea how they want to collaborate, or if my client should take them up on this offer. On one hand, it could put us into a brand new—and massive—market. On the other hand, they (probably) use communistic powers to create mediocre products for far less than they should be. 


As a stout anti-communist (and an even more stout pro-capitalist), if it were my business, I’d run for the hills. Alas, I can only guide my client towards making the best decision for his brand.


Anyway… 


Back to the Chinese incel subject line I’ve teased. 


I once bought something from Temu for “research purposes.” And as such, I’ve been getting roughly 8 million push notifications to my phone, I see even more ads in my Facebook feeds, and I get at least 1 email per day from the communist Chinese brand.


(Lesson in there… maybe?) 


Now, I respect their commitment to their marketing strategy. But it’s far too much, especially because they design their emails like the typical ecommerce brand, which means they get ignored. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out Temu had a sub-10% open rate across their email campaigns. 


And they told me as much when I got this email the other day. 


Why? 


Their subject line was dripping in more neediness than even the biggest Chinese incel (which I’ve heard rumors that nobody there has sex, instead they fap to cartoons and robots). 


The subject line?


“Please open me” 


B

L

E

C

H


I’ve never seen a more desperate subject line. 


Of course, I refused, it’s human nature. (This is why signs that say “Don’t press this button” are more likely to get the button pressed than not having a sign at all.) 


But it brings up an important lesson: 


There is nothing more anti-persuasive than being needy and desperate like this. Yes, even if you use communism to create dirt-cheap products. 


Some food for thought. 


Anyway, if you need help writing and sending more persuasive emails, hit reply, and let’s chat. 


John

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