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Welp, looks like I need a new laptop

Writer's picture: John BrandtJohn Brandt

I finally took my laptop into Apple last night. Yes, the same one I spilled water all over. 


Annnnnnnnnd - it looks like your humble daily-ish narrator will need a new laptop. 


Here’s what happened: 


Since I don’t have AppleCare (I think I used to… in fact, the “butterfly” keyboard in my 2017 MacBook Pro—the one with the cool-looking, but annoying-to-use TouchBar that replaced the F keys—had all sorts of problems with double typing or no typing, and so it was already replaced once for free by Apple many years ago), the cost to repair my computer wound up being a similar price to buying a whole new laptop. 


But the Genius at Apple told me that I could try putting my laptop in rice for 48 hours to see how it recovers. Since I already have a backup MacBook, I didn’t rush to buy a new laptop.  


This was news to me. I knew about the rice trick already. In fact, I’ve used the rice trick several times over the years after damaging my phone and iPods. It always worked surprisingly well. 


But for whatever reason, the articles and YouTube videos I searched after spilling water on my laptop all told me that using rice doesn’t work for laptops. 


And you know what?


This gave me flashbacks to your typical email marketing articles you read online, which are peppered with as many lies as the “you can’t use rice on a laptop” lie the Genius proved to be false. 


Y’see, any HubSpot, Klaviyo, or [enter your favorite ESP here] article that teaches email marketing also gets it disastrously wrong. This also applies to account managers at popular ESP’s too. Despite being an ESP, they don’t actually use email marketing in their business. They don’t care about ways you can actually increase your revenue which goes against the misguided “common knowledge” their marketing interns (or AI) write so they rank high on Google search. 


They also have ulterior motives:


They’d much rather your emails get over 40% open rates and make zilch than to get 20% open rates and make thousands. 


Why?


Because these email softwares are more worried about their deliverability than your sales. 


Now, I don’t understand what the ulterior motives are of the articles and YouTube videos I found that told me I couldn’t put my laptop in rice to try to drain more water from it. 


But I think I’m safe in assuming that there is an ulterior motive. 


Which brings me to the rub:


As Abraham Lincoln once said:


“Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.” 


In this “information age,” there are a lot of people who act like know-it-alls but are really know-it-nothings. It’s much better to trust experts than whatever AI or a marketing intern has to say. And yes, there are some downright nefarious actors too (my conspiratorial mind thinks that the articles and YouTubes I found were funded by “Big Laptop” to trick me into buying a new one). 


Anyway, if you need help growing your impact and revenue through email, hitting reply gets you in contact with a real expert. 


So, hit reply, and let’s chat. 


John


P.S. Pray my laptop makes a speedy recovery. 


(Though, the new MacBook models type sooooo much better and count as a tax write-off, so, who knows, mayhap I’ll be getting a new one soon anyway.) 

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