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the infamous “globster” email

A client accidentally reminded me of one of my favorite emails from way back before I was a freelance email copywriter.

It involves a “globster” and making a buncha sales.

Here’s the story:

I worked at a design agency on the marketing team. Which meant, I wrote a bunch of emails and did a bunch of other random marketing work that I hated.

Anyway, we were getting ready to head to the Philippines for a week. This design agency hired a bunch of Filipino designers, so we got the whole company together to meet and strategize (and party lol).

Well, we kinda needed to raise money for the trip.

I don’t remember the exact details… but around 10 U.S. employees flew to the Philippines. There were 200+ Filipino employees. And the space we rented for biz conferences was massive.

(Not to mention, the plane tickets, food, hotel room, dinner, etc.)

Long story short:

We ran a sale the week leading up to the trip to make some moolah back.

And I wrote a buncha emails for the sale.

But then something magical—or terrifying—happened:

A news story broke in the Philippines…

About a “globster” that washed up on a Filipino beach.

What’s a “globster” you ask?

I don’t know to be honest.

Didn’t know when I wrote about it. Certainly don’t know now—it’s been like 5 years since I wrote this sucker.

But it looks like a big, hairy sea monster. (Feel free to google globster.)

I read the story and remember thinking to myself…

“Now THAT’S interesting.”

So what did I do?

I wrote an email about it.

The subject line was along the lines of:

Big, hairy “globster” washes up on a Filipino beach.

If my memory serves me… the angle I used went something like this:

“We’re heading to the Philippines to meet your designers.

But this scary sea monster washed up on the beach—eeeeek!

Having a designer on your team means you can travel when you want (without sacrificing your business). Even if that means hunting down all the “globsters” and getting to the bottom of what they are.”

And I did this smack-dab in the middle of the sale (lol).

Most of the other emails went like:

“Save 30% this week only” and other lame sales-y based subject lines like that.

I don’t remember the exact stats…

But this email did gangbusters.

It was the highest performing email in terms of sales.

Spawned a lot of replies from our list.

And I even think I got a few compliments from readers.

Which brings me to the point:

Boredom is the death of a sale.

At this agency, we ran promo after promo — the exact opposite of what I preach now.

And this email shocked people into opening… which translated into many and many-a sales, replies, and compliments.

Every once in a while it’s good to shock your readers.

Whether that means going heavy on the clickbait, name dropping a “globster,” or doing something else nobody expects.

Keeps readers on their toes.

And can revive “dead” subscribers quick-fast.

One last point before I wrap up:

Using current events in your emails is another great way to get people to open and read your shyt.

It’s an ole Robert Collier trick:

“Always enter the conversation already taking place in the customer's mind.”

And current events?

That’s what people talk about when they’re hanging around the water cooler.

Now, down to brass tacks:

Need a “globster” email copywriter? (Or at least, one who understands the principles of direct response and uses them to help you stack fat lump sums of cheddar cheese?)

Might just be the most profitable link you click all year (especially if we end up working together).

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