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7 cartoonish email mistakes you’re probably making

If you’re not making as much moolah from your emails as you’d like, there’s a good chance you’re committing one of the 7 cartoonish email mistakes listed below. 

Peruse through this list, identify if you’re making one (or all) of these mistakes. And then think about how you could approach your email marketing strategy without committing one of these mistakes. 

If you put in the work here, you’ll be sending more profitable emails by the next time you hit “send,” which could be as soon as today. 

Let’s boogie:

1. Being afraid of pressing send

This is the most egregious email mistake, but it’s more of a mindset mistake than an email one. 

Your fear of sending emails because “oh noes” people might unsubscribe, talk shyt, or report you as spam comes from a scarcity mindset instead of one from abundance. 

In fact, I recommend looking at unsubscribes as an opportunity for higher quality leads to join your email list. Not only is it true, but it also helps you get over this fear of pressing send. 


As long as your product/service provides real value to your clients/customers (as it should…), then it’s your moral duty to write and send as many emails as possible to persuade them to buy. Otherwise, make them hit the road and haunt a competitor instead. 

2. Obsessing over “value” in emails

This mistake is particularly popular in the world of IM and guru fanboys, but it bleeds over into ecommerce too. 

There are several problems with providing “value” in your emails: 

* It comes from what a biz owner thinks is valuable, not what their customers think are valuable. So it’s not actually valuable. 

* It can be anti-persuasive 

* It comes at the expense of trying to make a sale (where your customers/clients will get real value) 

* It’s boring (this may be the biggest sin of all) 

And the list goes on. 

3. Disobeying the Rule of One 

The Rule of One is a copywriting law that states your emails should have one hook, one angle, one offer, and one CTA. But too often, whether in the spirit of giving “value” or trying to prove their worth, biz owners will add a bunch of CTAs, angles, hooks, etc. But this leaves your list confused, and confused people don’t become customers. 

Keep it simple, stoopid, obey the Rule of One, and you’ll be on your way to more profitable emails. 

4. Tormenting over open rates and other vanity metrics 

Not only do open rates (and other vanity metrics like click rates, etc.) not matter, but they can actually convince you into making other boneheaded email decisions. 

I’m not saying you should never check your open and click rates. Rather, you need to see them for what they are: Vanity metrics that can only tell you the general health of your list. If you’re optimizing your strategy around increasing your open rates instead of sales, then, well, mayhap it’s time to let a pro like your humble narrator here handle your emails. 

5. Typing long ass paragraphs 

Long paragraphs, while useful from time to time, seem scary to your list. It seems like a commitment because it is. And most people are scared of commitments. Opening an email to see several long ass paragraphs will make most people exit out faster than a pet with the zoomies. 

It’s best to start your emails with short and pithy sentences. 

But beware: 

You also don’t want too many paragraphs with only one sentence. That’s also a commitment, albeit a thumb-scrolling one rather than a reading one. 

Mix things up. Keep your readers on your toes. And you’ll find people are far more likely to read your emails. 

6. Treating your list like children

This one is especially prevalent in the ecom world. 

How do you treat your list like children? 

* Pretty designs

* Flashing gifs

* Heavily designed templates 

* Minimal copy 

The list goes on. 

You know what else uses pretty designs and minimal words?

Children’s books. 

Stop insulting your list’s intelligence, and you might be surprised how much more persuasive your copy gets. 

7. Using obvious spam-trap words 

There are tons of spam-trap words. And sometimes even slipping up and using one of these “forbidden” words can send your email to spam—where nobody, even your most active and engaged subscribers will see it, let alone read it. 

It might be a little outdated because it’s a few years old. But it’s a solid starting point. 

Anyway, if you need help avoiding these mistakes, hit reply. 


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