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Why you’re a phony if you believe everything a guru says

“Guru says drink water, I drink water”

— most dudes on Twitter

The brilliant Chris Orzechowski—who runs one of the tightest email marketing agencies around, started the Make It Rain Monthly newsletter of which I pay for each month, and recently followed yours truly on Twitter—and I have had a little back and forth on the bird app making fun of mfs who treat “drink water” as the pinnacle to their content strategy.

Water sucks, bro.

Have you ever tried anything with a dash of flavor, like, uh, coffee?

Didn’t think so.

Jokes aside, this brings up an important lesson:

Believing everything a guru says…

…whether it’s these “drink water bros” on Twitter…

…email pioneers like Orzy himself, Ben Settle, or Matt Furey…

…young up-and-coming email copywriting legends like yours truly…

…or hell, even if it’s one of the direct response titans like Gary Bencivenga or Dan Kennedy…

You’re a big, ol’ phony!

(I mean that in the nicest way possible.)

Here’s why:

Earlier this week, as I led the Copy Cats Call with other killer copywriters at The Podcast Factory, one of our new-ish writers asked the following:

(I’m paraphrasing, I don’t have a phonographic memory…)

“What’s the best way to improve and write copy as good as you guys? It’s obvious I’ve improved a TON since I started, but I’m still leagues behind you.”

He then recommended the usual suspects for improving yourself:

Books, courses, handcopying, yada, yada, yada.

My response?

Handcopy your bottle of water. Trust me.


My real answer?

Experience is the best teacher. Periodt!

Do books, courses, masterminds, events, handcopying ads, studying successful ads, funnel hacking, yada, yada, yada help?


But they don’t come close to real, raw, in the trenches experience.

Which is bad news if you wanna learn copy quickfast:

Experience takes time. It ain’t always sexy. And as soon as you think you’re starting to get good, you realize how little you know, and how much progress you still have to make.

This reminds me of a tweet I recently saw, and since I don’t have a photographic nor phonographic memory (and because I’m too lazy to dig through thousands of “drink water” tweets in my like list to dig it up), I cannot remember who tweeted it with the entire bird world. Apologies.

But it went something like this:

Y’know what the best of the best direct response copywriters in the world had in common?

I’m talking the A-players. The ones who command a five figure fee before writing a word, then rake in royalties for decades when they’re done.

They all, *checks notes*, drink water.

Wait, this is an email to my list, not a tweet to my social media fanboys…

Here’s what they *really* had in common:

They didn’t enjoy true success, the ones other copywriters fap over, until they hit their 50s or 60s.

That’s how long mastery in this game takes.

While we’re talking about the importance of experience, lemme add this before I dismiss you for the day:

My Pittsburgh Steelers, who lost to the Jets last week (at the time I’m writing this), switched their QB at half-time. Our rookie QB, Kenny Pickett, became our present and our future.

And I was listening to a former player’s podcast where he talked about Pickett becoming the starter while walking my stupid little chihuahua.

Guess what he said?

Kenny drinks water.

That’s why he looks so promising as a starter.

(Haa! Got you again.)

Before this “drink water” bit gets staler than it already is, which even I admit, has already gotten stale af, here’s what the former player actually said:

You can take practice reps all you want. Watch film until your eyes bleed. Go through more “game-like” situations than an 8-year with a basketball and a hoop.

But at the end of the day?

None of it matters compared to getting live, in-game experience.

Nuff said.

Don’t wanna hone your copywriting skills for years (or mayhap even decades) so you can use them to grow your business faster? Don’t worry — I already did a lot of this “leg work” for you.

And good news:

Here's a magical Calendly link for a 15-minute call, where we’ll chit-chat and see if partnering my copywriting skills together with your business and offer and list makes sense.

So, hit reply. And let's both drink water together.


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