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My dog rolled around in sh*t this morning

I walk back into my house, after taking my dog out yesterday, and start my day as usual:


I make myself a steaming hot cup of black coffee. My nostrils get a whiff of the flowery and nutty aroma emitting from my office’s coffee pot. My black cat jumps onto my desk for a nap… and…


WAIT!


What is this putrid smell my nostrils are picking up?


It smells like sh*t!


I check myself (you never know…)... nope, it’s not me.


I pick up the cat, give him a whiff, and then launch him off my desk (he likes to knock everything over). Nope, it’s not the cat either.


So, I swivel my chair back like a villainous boss and look at the chihuahua sitting on the recliner… no, it can’t be, can it?


I walk over to him…


“Oh no, oh no, oh no…” I start thinking to myself.


And then I see it:


It looks like he rubbed himself in the old hair gel I used to spike up my hair when I was seven. A thick and sticky “gel” lathered his left side.


Except, instead of gel, it was SH*T!


“Babe, come here!” I shout from my office.


“What’s wrong baby?” she replies.


“I need your help, stat. Grab the doggy shampoo, Romeo needs a bath now.”


“What? You never give him baths in the morning, what’s going on?”


“Well, babe, Romeo rolled around in sh*t when I took him out this morning.”


Yikes!


Talk about a sh*tty start to your morning. (Ba da tssss)


The worst part is I almost put Romeo’s coat on him because the weather’s taking a turn for winter in Ohio. But it was still warm enough to go outside without putting on his coat, so I didn’t.

Big mistake.


To make matters worse…


Romeo hates baths. Especially ones in the shower versus the sink. And lemme tell you, there ain't no way I was picking up this poop-covered monster before his bath. Peanut and I tried, for the next 10 minutes, to lather the last drops of our doggy shampoo on him and soak him down.


Before we were 100% sure the sh*t was gone, Romeo scurried out of the tub and out of the bathroom. Luckily, we removed all the sh*t off him first.


What a way to start your day!


Anywho:


Why am I telling you this story?


Coupla reasons:


1. Nothing bad happens to email copywriters.


Your dog rolling around in sh*t before your first cup of coffee is a recipe for a bad day. Luckily, we freed him from the poop—and I didn’t have a particularly good email idea today anyway.


Have something bad happen to you?


Turn it into an email — and make sales because of it!


2. If you have your own business, appreciate your freedom (if you have it).


I didn’t notice Romeo was covered in sh*t until longer than I’d like to admit. By the time my nostrils caught wind of the sh*t stench, my entire office reeked like a portapotty.


If I had a job like most people, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have noticed until I got home from work. I can’t even imagine the sh*t havoc he woulda wreaked on our furniture and throughout our house.


Which brings me to the point:


Your business should grant you the freedom to do what you want — or, in this particular example, what you need to do before your 7 lb chihuahua turns your entire house into a giant portapotty.


But the cold, hard truth is most people’s businesses enslave them instead of freeing them.


That’s the bad news.


The good news?


Email is one of the most liberating and profitable marketing avenues you can add to your business. But… only if you know how to send persuasive emails or work with someone who does.


Which reminds me:


I’ve created a bunch of freedom and harnessed a bunch of loot for my clients through email.


Mayhap you’re up next?



John

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