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Client commits Obvious Adams-sized mistake

If’n you’ve ever read Obvious Adams—the fictional, yet true story of a successful businessman who wasn’t exactly what you’d call intelligent, but had a keen insight into noticing (then resolving) obvious problems which threatened the various business ol’ Obvious Adams worked for—by Robert Updegraff, then mayhap you know where I’m going with this…

For context:

I’m writing this on Thanksgiving - the calm before the storm that is the Black Friday holiday szyn for ecom brands. (Turns out, I didn’t load this’n into my email software until today because the Black Friday storm hit me hard…)

And after writing some pretty damn good Black Friday emails (if I do say so myself, and o’course I do) for a few of my clients, I got the dreaded message from one of them:

Their new website is running into some issues and we may need to push the entire promo back.

“How long???” I responded.

“We don’t know yet.”


And therein lies the problem:

Coupla weeks back, they told me about their plan for a “new and improved” website.

This ain’t the first time a client fed me that bullshyt.

It’s already delayed several of my emails leading up to the promotion. And now it’s (potentially) delaying the entire promotion itself.

Look, I get the desire for wanting to have a “pretty” website. Wait, no. That’s a lie. I don’t.

Why don’t I?

Well, for starters, website designers are (in my rude, but accurate opinion) the scum of the earth.

They overpromise and underdeliver 9 times out of 10. Mayhap more.

More often than not, a website redesign for a prettier website comes at the steep cost of functionality. In fact, several of my clients have been duped by $10k (and higher) for a “new” website that doesn’t even work.

For example:

* Load times skyrocket

* Customers can’t add products to their cart, let alone check out and pay you

* Certain products don’t even show up

Y’know, all the basic things a website needs to have in order to generate revenue.


Ugly websites, time and time again, actually convert better.


Well, it’s sorta like ugly emails vs pretty emails:

Pretty emails don’t sell. Web designers, as awful as they are at building functional websites, are even worse at copywriting and persuasion. Given that it’s even possible to place an order on their atrocious excuse for a website, the copy doesn’t persuade not-a-one person to place an order.

Worst part?

This mistake is completely avoidable. It reminds me of the “New Coke” problem Coca-Cola committed in the 80s, which had Coke drinkers outraged and hoarding the old formula like it was Bitcoin circa 2013.

For starters, I don’t even recommend getting a website redesign ever.

But even more importantly?

Don’t make a major update—that’s always filled with a seemingless endless amount of bugs and problems that directly affect the functionality of your ability to make moolah—right before a major holiday known for offering killer deals, a la Black Friday.

/Rant over.

Need help from someone who is the exact opposite of these boneheaded web designers that negatively impact your ability to make money?

Hit reply, and let’s chat.


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