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cheesy FB meme is actually motivational? Noooooooooooo

Writer: John BrandtJohn Brandt

I’m clawing my eyeballs out as I write this, so pardin any tpyos.


Why am I calwing my eyes out?


See what had happened was…


(bonus points if you caught my pun in the previous sentence)


I took a stroll dahn Facebook lane the other day. And I came across perhaps the cheesiest, corniest, and cringiest, yet oddly motivational meme some rando poasted.


And now, I’m sharing it with you:


Maybe it motivates you to tackle the biggest to-do on your plate todya. Maybe it motivates you to claw your eyeballs out along with me. Hopefully, it inspires you to do both.


Ready, set, go:


==


You’re breaking generational curses. That’s why things don’t come so easy for you. You’re who your bloodline has been waiting for.


==


Ooooof, I’m covered in the cringiest of goosebumps right now.


But think of it like this:


Think of all the hundreds of thousands, nay millions, nay billions? of people in your bloodline who had to survive for you to even be alive today.


Imagine they’re all cheering for you to succeed.


And picture that they’ve been waiting eons for you.


That’s kinda-sorta true.


I’m no scientist, but there’s probably at least a part of your oldest ancestor coursing through your very veins right now. Pretty cool, innit?


And here’s another way to think of it:


If any one of your ancestors took a wrong turn or didn’t battle through adversity or even death, you wouldn’t be here right now. It only would’ve taken one measly person choosing to give up, and you nor your family would’ve existed.


Every single one of your ancestors lived tough lives. Hell, even just 50 years ago, a 1-hour commute took 4 painstaking hours on a train. Let alone 500 years ago where one of your ancestors won a jousting match, which enabled your birth. Or 50 million years ago where your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great caveman grandpa dodged (or slayed) a dinosaur, saved your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great caveman grandma, and wooed her in the process. (Boy am I grateful for copy and paste.)


We have different problems now:


Mental health, sedentary lifestyles, evil forces, too much information, comparison disease, the list goes on.


But your birth alone proves you can conquer anything that comes your way.


And conquer it you must, soldier, for 5,000 years from now some email copywriter will write about you, as I’m writing about your ancestors now.


(And yes, email marketing will still be around—in some form—5,000 years from now, even if everyone’s stuck in some demented Zuckerburg-Matrix that he controls the same way the Hydra scientist Zola uploaded his consciousness into a computer in Captain America: The Winter Soldier.)


And you wanna know a small step you can take today that may make your ancestors’ proud they survived for you?



John


P.S. Obviously, I made an unsubstantiated claim above, and I can’t say for certain if your ancestors would be proud. It’s possible they would be outraged or creeped out.


I guess we’ll never know…


 
 
 

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